“We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens. It may only last a moment, an hour, an afternoon. But that doesn’t diminish its value. Because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives.” ~ Anonymous
Falling in love is such a beautiful gift and experience. Who remembers when they first thought they were falling in love? Could this be the one? He makes me feel so special inside. I laugh so much when I’m with him. He gets me! Who doesn’t want to have a love in their life that is always there, to share life experiences with, to feel and share the sparks of passion with, and to make love with passionately and wishing the moment was endless? I ached to have someone in my life to make these memories with, to love someone unconditionally, to grow old with…
However, when in love, you not only have the privilege of the deepest love possible, you also have the responsibility of death. Finding love scared me almost as much as death does. Because you know that one day, one of you will be left behind. From time to time, I think… who will go first… me or my husband? How will it happen? When will it happen? How will I handle life if God takes him before me? How will my heart not break into a million pieces? Who will be there to catch the tears as they fall one by one into my endless diary of memories? Who will be there to hold me, to guide me, to protect me, to give me strength and tell me that life will go on; that I will be okay? Death is scary, as it can be handed to you in such an untimely and unexpected manner, no preparations and with no warnings whatsoever. Unfortunately, when someone special in our lives comes our way and we make the commitment to love them, death, one day, will be one of the unpleasant prerequisites that we agree to deal with.
This is why we must live every day as if it could be our last; remembering to always love unconditionally and to hold those wonderful moments close to our hearts that made us fall in love to begin with and not only on Valentine’s Day, but every day. Do you remember what made your heart take an extra beat? Do you remember when you fell in love, what made you fall in love? Was it their smile, was it their tender touch, was it their passion?
As I reminisce, I remember the moments that I first fell in love with my husband, Frank…
His thick hair that had a hint of curl to it when it was long and his full bushy mustache, the kind that left a lasting tickle on your upper lip or the tip of your earlobe.
I would watch the brawly Harley biker melt with mushiness when he would remove his large framed glasses to show me that his eyes were actually tearing up at the moment he said he was thinking of me.
His spirit was carefree where he found joy within each moment that passed.
When he lived life on the edge and decided where he will take the day instead of where the day will take him.
I felt love when I found myself daydreaming about the new man in my life, catching myself sighing into the air, wishing I were near him.
Holding hands and noticing that mine fit comfortably into his, nestled, as if it was a custom fit.
Hearing the phone ring, hoping that it would be him or having the same warped sense of humor as me, laughing so hard until my cheeks hurt.
Realizing you never felt comfortable enough to fart in front of a boyfriend… until now.
Feeling the passion that’s between the both of us with just by a simple kiss.
Smelling the hint of cologne on his cheeks and knew he wore it for me.
The first time we slow danced and I felt his arms around me, his body tight against mine and feeling the warm of his breath on my neckline.
Feeling his gentle hand sweeping over my body, softly, as if he’s touching an artful masterpiece, caressing it slowly, commenting that I was so beautiful.
Hearing the words, “I love you” within a week of your first blind date and not thinking once he was moving too fast.
Sharing the words, “I do.”
Remembering the first time we heard the words, Congratulations! “It’s a girl… It’s a boy!”
These thoughts of love help me think of the moment, the now, and not what will eventually be all of our destinies in the end. These are the memories that keep me moving forward, that remind me that I am a very lucky woman and that I had an opportunity to love and to love grandly. It is worth loving someone and making the commitment until “death we do part?” My answer is yes, I believe it is, even though I know that the end result will not escape me without heartache and pain. For this, my life has become richer and I would rather have taken the chance on love then never to experience love at all.
Until the end…
Happy Valentine’s Day, Frank. I love you!
“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.” ~ Judy Garland